Mental Health & Suicide

Mental health and suicide are two pretty "taboo" topics to talk about, right? They are also two topics that need to be discussed more than anything.

A couple of months ago, I got off work at 10pm and headed downtown to meet Dusty and some friends at the bars.  During the night Dusty introduced me to one of his friends who had lost his brother to suicide.  We all danced and drank for hours.  At the end of the night, I saw Dusty and that same friend sitting against the wall in deep conversation.  As I got closer, I realized that they were talking about the memories of the friend that had passed.

The longer I listened to them, the more I realized that everyone goes through tough times.  We are all handed different cards in this life, and no one's life story is exactly the same.  Some people go through the exact same situation, but no one handles the situation the same way.

It broke my heart when the brother asked Dusty if he thought that his brother was in Hell.  Christians have convinced the world that if someone commits suicide, they are condemned to an eternity in Hell.  I never agreed with, nor understood why, Christians believe this.  Dusty clearly explained to his friend that his brother had done nothing that would send him to Hell, and he even had a dream about him where he was happy and in Heaven.  Dusty's friend said that other friends have told him about similar dreams of his brother in Heaven, and he said it was very comforting.

Mental health is so important, but it is often overlooked in our society.  We need to step up and check in on our friends and family.  Notice the signs and take action.  You never know what someone else is going through, so check in every now and then and ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS!

One Step Closer...

I am two papers away from my final semester of my junior year of college! There are two days left of finals week and I have one paper due each day. Monday and Tuesday were exam days. Monday's exam did not really matter, I did the math and I could have gotten 0% and still passed the class. That's a great feeling! Tuesday's exam was a little different, after doing the math, I discovered that I needed to get 72% on the final. I got my exam grade back today, and while it may have been my lowest grade all semester...I passed!

Here's a Link to my Last Clinical Experience this Semester :)

Now, to end my procrastination and get back to these last two papers...

Where has the Time Gone?

It seems that January rolls around every year, and we set ourselves up for big plans and adventures.  Resolutions or bucket lists are made, and we look ahead to the possibilities of the future.  Sources have found that about 80% of resolutions fail by February, and that only 8% of people actually keep their resolutions.  It's the end of June, and I have accomplished five of my resolutions (pay it forward once a month, track migraines, blog post for photography sessions, monthly date night, go to the beach).  On the bright side, within the next month I will (hopefully) be able to cross two more items off my list: road trip to Michigan and getting another tattoo.  There is only one resolution that I really can't cross off anymore: monthly blog posts.

Working a full-time job and a part-time job have caused me to re-evaluate my priorities.  Both of my jobs require weekends, so I don't have too much free time.  I've had one weekend off each month since I started my second job in January.  My current schedule is working PM's at the nursing home Monday, Wednesday, and every other Tuesday, Saturday, and Sunday; and working days at home health Friday, and every other Saturday and Sunday.  Up until earlier this month, Dusty had been working Monday through Saturday on AM's, so we really didn't get time to see each other.  Even when Dusty was able to work just Monday through Friday, I was still working Saturdays so we were limited on our time to be together.  We aren't able to take long trips and it's really hard trying to sync up our off days.  We don't get to plan our our weekends.  Most of the time, we have to plan a month in advance, or make plans the day of.

Since the spring semester ended, I have prioritized my brothers high school graduation, and their party, fishing, time with my family and time with Dusty's family, and the Tomah Tractor Pull.  You could also say that I prioritize both of my jobs, since most of my summer is dedicated to them.  It's so complicated being in this phase of adulthood because you have to work to pay your bills, but you don't want to drown in overtime.  On the other hand, you also want to take vacations and enjoy this time in life before having kids.  I have two months left of summer, and I'm trying to make the most of it with the few days available to me.

What are YOUR plans for the rest of the summer?!?

First Semester of Junior Year

Well I'm a little over halfway through my first semester of junior year in nursing school, and it's been pretty hectic.  I am a full-time student with the minimum of 12 credits, I work between 4 and 13 hours per week at one job and 24 hours per week at another job.  Between school and my jobs, it gets hard to fit in a social life.

This semester's clinical experience has been in maternity and pediatrics; and for the most part, I've been enjoying it.  My favorite experiences have been in postpartum!  During most of our hospital clinical experiences, we wear the hospital scrubs, so it has been kind of fun to experience what real nurses wear instead of our traditional scrubs.

Finally, my job at the nursing home has been a bit of a learning curve.  I think that a lot of the time, we have ideas about what it should be like in the nursing home, but actually being there is so different.  I have many thoughts on nursing home staffing and work environment that I will dedicate a post to later on.  On the bright side, the dress code isn't strictly enforced so I've been able to wear some fun scrubs instead of making sure that I wash my work scrubs every night after I work.  Also, I finally got my official name tag!

Dreaming Of...

It's the end of February and it's pretty much the middle/end of winter.  I'm dreaming of being on a beach somewhere warm and sunny.  Spring break is coming up in less than two weeks, and I'm going to spend it in Wisconsin.  I'll be working, and just enjoying the time off from school.  My next hope for being on a beach somewhere warm and sunny is this summer.  My dad's family has a vacation planned for July.  The plan is to spend Saturday on Shawano Lake then have a bonfire at my grandparents.  I also know that I'm going to have a "girl's day" at Lake Wazee with a friend, or a couple.  Other than those two days, any other sunny beach day will be by surprise.  Hopefully Dusty will take me back to the place pictured above, and this time we'll load the bed of the truck (maybe a new one!) with pillows and blankets and enjoy the sunset together. 💖

30 Burpees for 15 Days

At the end of December, I was looking for some sort of activity to get me eased into working out, but not something that required a half hour dedication with a full meal plan to follow. I ended up stumbling upon a pin on Pinterest about doing 30 burpees every day for 15 days. The lady who did it there said she did 3 sets of 10 burpees. For the first three days, she rested for 1 minute between sets, the next three days 45 second rests, the next three days 30 second rests, the next three days 15 second rests, and the final three days there was no rest.

After reading about it, I decided that it was something I could do. I did 30 burpees for 15 days, and here's what I found out...

1. Burpees are not the kind of move that get easier the more you practice them.

Don't get me wrong, they do get a little easier over time, but they are still a challenge. The first three days weren't too bad, that one minute break between sets really helped. Days 4-6 also went pretty well, and Dusty informed me that 45 seconds is the recommended rest period between sets. Days 7-9 got a little harder, 30 seconds did not seem to give me enough time to catch my breath between sets. Days 10-12 were difficult, if I didn't stand next to my timer, my break would go about 3 seconds too long. Days 13-15 were the hardest, I'm not sure I will ever do 30 consecutive burpees for any reason in the future.

2. Burpees are truly a total body move.

By day three, my obliques were hurting and I don't even understand how they are involved in this move. Throughout the 15 days, I had next-day soreness in my thighs, shoulders, and abdominal muscles.

3. I had more energy.

Most days, I did the burpees first thing in the morning. Some days it required a commitment because I had to be at work at 7am. When I was able to do the burpees before work, I felt much more energized on my drive to work and throughout my 10 hour day. Yes, a couple of days I pushed them off until evening (hello New Years), but I still got them in.

4. They're not the move if you're looking for a "quick fix."

I had no intentions of changing my eating habits, or even watching what I ate for the duration of this. I also didn't have any other supplemental workout, aside from walking around, which wasn't any more than normal. I'm not one who pays much attention to the scale, but I figured it would be cool to see how my body weight fluctuated over the 15 days. I started December 27, 2017 at 163.0 pounds, and throughout the challenge I ranged from 162.8 pounds to 168.4 pounds. When I finished the challenge, I weighed pounds 164.4 pounds.

My "Before" on the left and "After" on the right. Each picture was taken in the morning before I had done anything else.

My Take on Promise Rings...

I had a plan to write this post before my boyfriend decided to "surprise" me with a promise ring, but as life would have it, that didn't happen. However, we did have a talk about it a couple of nights before he did surprise me, so my mind is at ease.

So here it is, my take on promise rings.

I cannot, for the life of me, find the picture of the ring that I want to use. But, it was something like a "Past, Present, Future Promise Ring," the kind with three large stones in the middle, and three more on each side.

Many, many years ago my boyfriend of one year got me a promise ring. It was beautiful and I loved it. I wore it proudly for about another year, but eventually I found myself not contributing to the relationship as much as I once had. In a moment of strength, I worked up the courage to put the ring back in the box and explain to my boyfriend that the ring made me feel like I didn't have to do anything more to make the relationship work. I had the ring and the promise of forever, so what else was there to do? Well, flash forward a year after giving back the ring, and we were done.

Not the greatest experience, right? For the longest time after that, I didn't think about promise rings. What was the point? From my experience, they didn't really mean anything.

Here is the promise ring that I got from my current boyfriend, and the letter that he gave me with it is in the background. It's a little heart with a single stone in the middle and small black stones on each side of the heart.

Dusty would tell me that I'm lying if I didn't mention that getting a promise ring is charged by a bit of jealousy, and he wouldn't be wrong. I'm definitely the jealous type girlfriend, but for the rest of this post, that is not the point. When I first brought up the idea of Dusty getting me a promise ring, it was kind of out of humor. Then it kept coming up, and it started to scare me. If I got a promise ring, was I dooming this relationship too? I have had the ring for a little over a week now, and I feel pretty confident. When I got my first promise ring, I was young, a bit immature, still in high school, and didn't really have a plan for the future. Now, I am an adult, working as a personal care worker, soon to be starting as a CNA, and have two and a half years of college under my belt with two years to go. Also, living together forces us to face our problems instead of hide from them. There is a light and day difference between the ways that I had approached/have been approaching this relationship versus my past one.

So how do I really feel about promise rings?
They can be great, but don't think that a promise ring is the end-all-be-all. It's not a wedding ring, it's not binding, so you can get out of it without any legal dealings if you really aren't happy in the relationship. Dusty also joked that he's going to spend just a little bit more on an engagement ring than he spent on this one, but he has also said he is going to get my engagement ring from a quarter machine at Walmart, so who knows! ANYWAYS, if you want to give your girlfriend a promise ring, go ahead, but know that her giving it back is a possibility.