"What Kind of Nurse do You Want to Be?"

As a junior nursing student, I can confidently say that the most common question asked by professors is "What kind of nurse do you want to be?" There are typically two ways to respond to this question: the first, and most common response, is declaring a specialty such as pediatric, gerontology, or oncology. The second response, and the one most professors are looking for, is a description of qualities that future nurses hope to possess.

When the question is presented without warning, most nursing students laugh and say "A good one?" or "One that doesn't kill people?" At first, it seems like a dumb question. You wouldn't be a nurse for very long if you weren't good at your job, right?

Well, I'm about to tell you the answer that I would like to give, but have never given.

Being the stereotypical nursing student, I have watched (and re-watched) my fair share of Grey's Anatomy. Recently, I re-watched every episode in search of one particular scene, and the scene ended up tying into three different episodes. If you want to see the actual scenes, fast forward to season 5 episodes 11 through 13. In these scenes, with one specific patient, Meredith Grey resembles the kind of nurse that I want to be.

In episode 11, the show introduces William, a prisoner who was brought to the hospital. He told the doctors and nurses why he was in prison, even though he was not required to tell them. He had murdered five women. When he told Meredith that he was in pain even after he had been given morphine, she gave him extra morphine even when the other staff refused.

In episode 12, William's condition worsens, but Dr. Shepherd is adamant that William does not deserve to die in the hospital. Meredith thinks that William should be able to do whatever he chooses, and since she is his doctor she supports his wishes. She informs the patient that in order to kill himself, his brain is already exposed, so he just has to hit his head on the bed rail which will cause his brain to bleed and swell. When Meredith is questioned about her reasons for this, she states that "I'm the type of person who feels bad for serial killers."

In episode 13, William has attempted to kill himself by doing what Meredith instructed him to do. When his alarms started going off, Meredith turned them off and then prevented others from stopping him from bleeding out. Before William's attempt, Meredith went to find Bailey to see if she would consider him for an organ transplant. Once Bailey found out who this patient was, she immediately shot her down. As William was in excruciating pain, Meredith asked him if he wanted Dr. Shepherd paged to come and help him. William said no, but when Christina came in, he said that he wanted to be saved. Meredith continued to follow what her patient had told her, she told others that she was "following my patient's wishes." After Dr. Shepherd saved William, he laughed at Meredith and said that he was just playing her, Meredith didn't let that comment get to her. Once William had recovered from his surgery, he was sent back to prison and his execution was scheduled. He asked Meredith to come to his execution, and she agreed to. When the day of William's execution came, Meredith did go to watch it. Derek Shepherd met her afterward and asked her why she went to his execution. Meredith's response resembles the kind of nurse that I aspire to be, she said "I wanted to show him compassion, that's the reason I went...and it was horrible."

I want to be the kind of nurse that proves to people that they are all worthy of compassion. My patients' past will not change the level of care and compassion that I will show to them.